Okay. I've been trying to figure out this situation so I can summarize it as accurately as possible.
"An astrological controversy erupted online Thursday after a newspaper article erroneously suggested that the dates that determine the Zodiac signs had shifted by about a month, throwing millions of believers into self-doubt and panic."
Astrological controversy? Isn't that like an oxymoron? Or at least some sort of double-negative. I was currently under the impression that astrology was already a controversy. But hey who am I to judge.
So the skinny is that apparently the Earth is on a tilted axis (I know, groundbreaking, right?). Because of this tilt I guess the world doesn't line up with certain constellations anymore. So some genius decided to move back all the dates and add a new sign. New, as-in a sign they supposedly used in Babylon like 3000 years ago. All I'm sayin' is they got rid of it for a reason. All those poor kids born under the sign of Ophiuchus. Especially since now their new sign may no longer exist... again.
Astrologers and astronomers, in an unprecedented display of unity have refuted this new Zodiac. Mostly by saying that they have been taking into account the Earth's tilt since they noticed back in 130 BC. (Wow. Sticking around for 2000 years to defend the Zodiac. That is one dedicated guy.) Also that anyone can look out the window at night and tell you that the constellations don't match up with the current sign.
Speaking of. I'm inclined to agree--mostly for two reasons. First, did someone really think that a celestial shift like that just happened over night? Seriously? Second. Does it really matter if the constellation lines up with the current sign? I mean, April 16th in Sydney has the same sign as April 16 in Seattle--but clearly those two sides of the world can't see the same sky at the same time. Which leads me to believe it never really made that much of a difference to begin with.
Hopefully there are no long-term repercussions from this interplanetary incident. I'm imagining some kid twelve years from now trying to figure out her star sign and not being able to find any info on Ophiuchus. Leading to Freudian-type identity issues as these impressionable youth of the next generation are unable to figure out what their personalities and futures are supposed to be. Luckily, Gen X is skeptical enough to not have fallen for all the nonsense in the first place, and optimistic Gen Y complacently decided that, good news, now there was a whole new group of people they were compatible with.
So, although the familiar Zodiac signs have been restored to their proper places, maybe this foray into the unknown was good for us. Teaching us that anything can, and often does, change.
Or, as James Poniewozik said, "I'm not a Cancer? Suddenly all those bigoted anti-Gemini pamphlets I self-published look embarrassing."*
*As Mr. Hall tells us, Tolerance is always a good lesson... even when it comes from nowhere."