Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Pirate Movie

I'm starting a new segment on my blog. Every now and again I'm going to spotlight a cultural gem. This week's is a movie called "The Pirate Movie"... I kid you not.

The rich fantasy world of a shy and awkward young girl, Mabel (Kristy McNichol), comes to vivid life after she meets the handsome Frederic (Christopher Atkins). In her fantasy, Frederic must save Mabel from a band of pirates. This delightfully campy '80s update of the timeless classic "The Pirates of Penzance" by Gilbert & Sullivan is packed with all-new songs and over-the-top fun.

Lets break this down. Mabel. That was her first mistake. My number one goal as a parent is to not name any of my children Mabel. Especially the boys. See, I like to make at least one of my goals very, very attainable. That way I feel like a winner. I succeed. Also, by succeeding at this goal I can decrease the probability of having a a daughter who is both shy and awkward.

Next, over-the-top fun. Who wants their fun to be over the top? Who says, "Hey man! That was over the top!" And really means this in a positive? Usually it's more like, "hey man, that was over the top... tone it down." And then you have to be all, "oh, I didn't realize. I'll keep it down." Over-the-top...

Now, usually I only recommend books I've read or movies I've seen. But I felt in this case I would make an exception. After all, Netflix puts it in the category of "Goofy Action & Adventure" along with such classics* as The mask, Around the world in 80 days, Surf Ninjas, and Last Action Hero. Which sounded like basically the best commendation to me. (If you liked this category, please be sure to explore other made up compound genres such as Critically-acclaimed Suspenseful Sci-fi & Fantasy, Witty Wedding Comedies, and ... Dramas starring Robert Redford).

*Please be sure when reading the word "classic" you hear "item of nostalgia, that while completely outdated, you love for the simple reason that it reminds you of your childhood/first relationship/first car etc"

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