Monday, January 4, 2010

Change we can believe in

I have officially lost all faith in the government.  And also its subsidiaries.

I used to trust that little label--y'know, that one with a date?  I would dive through the shelves, only to emerge triumphantly with my precious cargo, accurately stamped with that little number of far-away goodness.  I would wander around the store, secure in my naivety that the number would keep me safe, comfortable with the familiar digits and patterns.

Even with the number, I was fastidious.  I would take it out, pour, put it back in.  The goal is freshness.  One of the unbreakable rules of my fridge is that the milk never touches the counter.  So you may imagine my surprise to open a brand new bottle, take a drink--only to be more disgusted than basically ever.  As if all of my worst milk fears had been realized.  The sharp smell was overpowered only by the sour taste that hung around in my mouth for hours, not to be tempered despite the quarts of water and numerous yummies consumed.  Not even shortbread could cut through.  According to the sanctioned date, the bad bottle still had another week, so you can see now the source of my disillusionment.  It's all lies!

And perhaps now we know why I don't want the government to take over the health care industry.  I mean, look what they're doing to the food!  Is nothing sacred?  I mean, if you can't trust your doctor, who else is there?  (especially with the power to provide prescription drugs with reckless abandon)

So now, the new platform: safety in dairy dates, and security for drugs.  Like, the legal kind.

Problem solved.

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