I Go to Extremes

Sometimes I feel like Billy Joel exists solely to teach life lessons to twenty and thirty somethings who are graduating to lite-rock from their alternative, metal, or emo pasts.  Lessons like: life will be more enjoyable if you seduce young catholic girls (Only the Good Die Young), have massive mood swings (I go to Extremes), and are declared legally insane (You May be Right).

But me and good old Billy have that in common at least.  I wouldn't necessarily call myself dramatic... (yes I realize that others definitely would) but I am willing to admit that perhaps I am prone to extremes.  It's like someone once told me that it's unacceptable to have an ambivalent reaction to things--I must either love it or hate it.  So I have a laundry list of things that I "hate" that honestly I just really couldn't care less about.

Curiously (but not really surprisingly--because it is after all a documented psychological phenomenon)  I find that the more these things come up, and the more I have to defend my position of distaste, the more I actually really do dislike it.  So basically I have convinced myself to dislike such innocuous things as:

Monkeys (I really do not like them.  They are the worst.  And I have no good reason.)

Windows 7

Florida.  The entire state.  And everything associated with it.  Nothing good has come from there.

Professional Sports

March

The UW... and WaSU, Florida and Florida State, USC, MSU and UM... and Ohio?  Holy Cow I hate a lot of colleges. (arguably I can blame some of my sports preferences on my Dad, but since I'm just sort of stealing his opinions I still can't successfully argue why I think the way that I do)

Masks.  They actually seriously freak me out.  I blame that book I read when I was 7.

The PAC 10

Baseball

Anne Hathaway

Cats

Also Cats (arguably a good reason)

Jack-In-The-Box

My Floral Design professor... I mean she was annoying... but really no good reason.

A Walk to Remember

These are all opposed to things I actually dislike for good reasons:

Stomach aches (Why don't we just call them stomaches?  I think it would save at least four keystrokes.  Time I could be spending on things like blinking. Or rolling my eyes.)

Chocolate

Playing that Clue/Telephone/Charades game I'm terrible at.

Playing really any kind of circle game where someone is on the spot.  They're terrible.

Kyle Whittingham.  And his Football team.  Toss up.

At least opinions make life interesting I guess.

On the other side I've also convinced myself that I absolutely love things for no good reason.  Things like Russia, European Monarchical History, the 80s, and Duke University.  And Wednesdays.  No good reason... but I think they're great

Starting out on a Journey

Well, its official.  I am a brand new me.

And just like the actually-dead Romanov princess, I find myself heading out into an unknown future, full of promise, possibility, and probably a lot of adventure.  Because, after all, whats a journey without a little bit of adventure?  And if I happen to defeat an undead ex-orthodox priest on the way, then so much the better.

Within the space of 14 days I found a brand new, full-time, year-round job, purchased my first car (totally by myself), and found somewhere new to live.  Crazy, eh?  I'm not feeling snarky today--which is a shame, I think I do my best writing when I'm snarky--so you'll just have to let an ordinary update suffice without my biting wit.

And can I just say that I found a job in my major, which is incredibly ironic because I never expected to actually work within my degree.  But its kind of actually my dream job.  Basically I sit on the computer all day rearranging furniture and picking out textiles in CAD and CET.

My car is a 2006 Mercury Mariner.  He's blue.  And I like to call him Ichiro, or Ichi for short.  Hes not so much a baseball player as he is Seattle's current favorite Mariner.

I thought about changing the name of my blog, because I am, currently, at a destination.  But I guess the thing about a journey is when one finishes, it always seems to mark the beginning of the next.  When are we not on a journey of some kind?  But ultimately I decided that "Finally Arriving at a Temporary Destination With the Intent to Relocate in 2-5 Years" just didn't have quite the same ring to it.

So here I am in Anchorage.

Consider yourself in the loop.

The Readers Digest Version

So I know its been a while... in an ironic twist of fate, (and you know how i live for irony) I've been too busy living my life to blog about it.  But, I have been keeping track of my crazy life in my journal... so we're good.  I guess if you want to see what I've been doing you could look at the pictures I'm tagged in on facebook.

Note: not my pictures, I rely solely on photos other people have taken to document my life.

In better news, there is nothing to do in Alaska in the winter (or so I hear) so I will probably have tons of time to bestow on you, my blog readers.

For now, I leave you with some thoughts that will hopefully encapsulate the bulk of my summer in Alaska.

I like attainable goals.
I had a head cold for a month.
Did you know that Morgan Freeman is basically the coolest?  Not only was he the president of South Africa, head of a major corporation, a chauffeur, plus the voice from above in life--but he managed to do it all while incarcerated in Shawshank prison.  They even got Nelson Mandela to play him in a movie... seriously, how cool is that?
I get all my current events this summer from the Colbert Report.
If you don't sleep you can pack in more extracurricular activites.
People are surprisingly willing to change their plans if they know other people are doing other things.  Huh.
I don't like hand guns.  Rifles sure, hand guns no.  They feel less like recreation and more like a murder weapon.
Pizza is the best!
Apparently I'm an expert cake baker... question mark?
Canoe portaging, biking, fishing, hiking, mountain-climbing (yes different than hiking.  It involves reaching an actual summit of an actual mountain).
We drove six hours to go to a dance.  Each way.
I love being on a boat.  Its basically my favorite.

Typical movies, songs, and activities:

Laughing
Soccer
The Colbert Report
Inception
Hiking
Dancing (particularly impromptu dance parties)
Aventures
Party all the time
Arrested Development
CJ's- 39 cent hand scooped dreyers ice cream.  Does it get any better?  I submit that it does not!

Notice the lack of sleep on this list

Some catch-phrases:

The worst!
You're the best!
I feel so good about that.
Double rainbow--it's so vivid!
GOAL!
Yellow card!
I know, right?

And now everyone is gone... well.  Not everyone.  There are still technically some people living in the state of Alaska.  But their number is significantly decreased.  And now with less people, my social life is definitely winding down to a walking pace.

Closing Time

I don't have to go home but I can't stay here.

So, I've been looking forward to this day for a very long time.  Mostly because I really wanted to use the lyrics by Semisonic as a blog title, but also I am just super ready to be done.

Good news!  I am done!

After graduation this weekend, I'll go home for a week or so, and then up to Alaska.

I'll stay for sure through the end of the season, and depending on how the company does, I will be hired on salary year round.

At least I have a plan I guess.

Also, I guess i sort of suck at that whole 'goodbye' thing.  I really have to build myself up to it if I'm going to be emotional at all.  Usually my farewells are sort of a "I'm never going to see you again, but its been fun.  Here's a hug-You've been great.  And if you never hear from me, don't worry too much--I don't stay in touch with anyone really.  Also don't be offended that I'm not crying.  I only do that in movies."

I suppose I'm just one of those people, that when something ends, it's over, life is different, I adapt, and then it's like life has always been that way.  I don't get reminiscent very often.  And only rarely nostalgic.

So let this be the message to all:  you've been great, really, and don't be offended if I'm the worst goodbye-r on the planet.  And remember, we'll always have Provo.

Laters.

It's grass-tastic!

Or so says the packaging on a bag of questionable candy my roommate received.

Edible Easter grass.  made in Germany... where else.  The interesting thing about it is, that edible is the best word to describe it.  It isn't delicious, or sugary, or even terrible.  It's just sort of meh...edible.  But I guess:

Edible Easter Grass

meh... it's edible 

just isn't as catchy as:

Edible Easter Grass

It's Grass-tastic!

So you eat one, and it tastes sort of like foam.  Sort of really like foam.  But it has just enough hint of green apple that you feel like you're eating something.  And so you have another.

Good news--the entire massive package is only 100 calories.  It has no fat, no sugar, no cholesterol, or anything else really... except for <1g of fiber.  Begging the question, what the heck is even in these things?

Glad you asked.

Ingredients: potato starch, corn starch, modified corn starch, and artificial flavors.

Artificial?!  Gasp.  Could've fooled me.

Prose and Khans

There were a lot of factors to consider.  After all on the one hand we have things like history, film, fiction, and this blog.  And on the other people like Chaka, Ghengis, Shao,... and the Wrath of...

So you can see it was a difficult decision.  One full of sensitive, intensely-felt promises*, and of course murderers and villains.  And to be perfectly honest I still haven't 100% confirmed it or worked out all the kinks--but so far it feels good.  And frankly thats all I really need in life.

The moral of the story is I got offered a full-time job in Alaska and I think I'm taking it.

*Like the prose written by George Peppard's typewriter in Breakfast at Tiffany's

I'm so vague--you probably think this blog is about you

So, the time has come.

My roommates and I have finally created a pizza blog wherein we divulge our expert opinions and connoisseur-like evaluations.  If you want to be blown away, or just get a fun idea idea full of pizza-related goodness, you should visit it.

Its basically the best thing since the stuffed crust.

Wheel in the sky keeps on turning

Fashion, like most things, tends to repeat itself.  Whenever I point something out that I like to my mother, she often responds with a, "I used to have a shirt just like that--I should have saved it."  Yes, yes you should have.  Nevertheless I was unprepared.  Unsuspectingly and innocently online shopping.

When I realized, the time we have all been dreading is now at hand.

So normally I'm all about the Crew.  I was looking at their sweaters today when I found this little gem:

Yes, it is official.  We are returning to the era of tiered minis, and pink and black combos.  This was a devastating realization even though I knew it had to happen eventually.

At least I can be grateful she isn't sporting a new set of shoulders.

Best ad today

We're not saying this body wash will make your man smell into a romantic millionaire jet fighter pilot, but we are insinuating it.

Also, I wish I were on a horse.

All roads lead to the Temple

So, two missionaries walk into a bar... woah wrong story.

So two missionaries tract into this woman and start talking to her, but she tells them it isn't a good time, and asks them to come back next week.  There's a guy in the apartment and the missionaries ask if he'll be there next week too.  He agrees.

Next week, the missionaries are back, the two people are super gung-ho about the gospel, and commit to being baptized.  But the missionaries are all, "yeah, but you need to get married before you're baptized, so come at five and the Bishop will marry you, and at six you'll get baptized."  They agree and everyone goes their separate ways.

It's baptism day.  The couple is late and the missionaries are worried, did they forget, did they bail?  So they go out to the parking lot to see the couple arguing.  Instead of interrupting, they just wait inside to see what happens.  After a few more minutes, the couple comes in, gets married, and gets baptized.

They became the perfect mormon couple, accepting callings, fellowshipping, you name it.  At their year mark, they meet with the Stake President to get interviewed for their temple recommends.  They pass the interview, and afterwards, the husband asks a question:

"Something I don't understand, why did we have to get married?"

Awkward pause "Well, you see it's not entirely appropriate to be living together when you get baptized."

Another awkward pause "But we weren't living together.  I was her landlord and I was just there collecting the rent."

Apparently, all roads lead to the temple.  Thank you ward conference.

John Mini Distinctive Landscapes

It's something you do when you're ready for the next phase of life.  Some people call it interviewing, others shopping around.  You go around, meeting with different ones, and it's fun.  There's no commitment, sure it may be a bit expensive from time to time, but other times you get free meals or even tickets out of it.  You're learning what you have in common, figuring out what you like and what you'll work well with.  Ultimately you're checking for compatibility--looking for the right fit.

Sometimes you find it right away.  It's like you're complete.  You stay forever.  Other times you may find the right fit but it takes awhile--even years.  Usually the first one doesn't work out, you go your separate ways after a short few years.  But when you find the right one, it's magic.

Not dating! clearly I am talking about the drama of job-searching.

I mean, John Mini is a great company.  The people are super nice, they're actually quite well known for interior plantscaping, and bonus, I had an interview with them.

It was a great interview.  My favorite part was sitting for three straight hours while various department heads came in and talked to me.  By the end, I swear I had a sinus headache, and my blood sugar had plummeted.  Lame right?  But I really liked them, and they really liked me.

So what's the problem.

I don't know if it's the right thing for me.  They called earlier this week and wanted to know what I was thinking.  I stalled for more time.  I have no idea!  Frankly, I don't feel like there is a place in the company that I want.  But, really, I don't even know what I want, so who am I to judge?  For all I know, I am perfectly suited to work as a crew leader on some installation crew somewhere.  Working with plants.  But for now, I'm thinking and they're calling back in three weeks.

Oh bah.

A Journey to Somewhere

I've done it.  I have defied all expectations, my rigid patterns, and.. y'know... gravity.  I have done something!

From the Top of the Rock.  We chose that because it was less busy than the Empire State Building.

C and I just got back from the Big Apple--we were only there for five days, but it felt like at least two weeks.  I had such an amazing time!  We managed to pack in absolutely everything we wanted to do!  And you know what,  I expected to love New York.  And I ended up loving New York.

Just some building next to a shop somewhere.  But look at the detail!

First of all, the architecture.  Never have I seen so many historically significant (and also just really cool) buildings in so short a time.  One thing that amazes me about buildings from not recent times is the amount of detail-work that goes into them.  Not just on religious buildings or structures of other importance, but all of them!  Love it.  People just don't create art like that anymore.  The Cathedral was amazing.  We went on the only cold rainy day and walked around outside taking pictures.  Talk about dedication.  Poor C.  She's a good sport.  We saw all the big sites: Empire State Building, Flat Iron, Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge, Rockefeller center, the Guggenheim, the Met, and all the other museums.  Speaking of.

The Lady herself.  She seems a lot smaller now compared to all the skyscrapers.

Another favorite thing=the Museum of Natural History.  It was four stories of amazingness.  Also, nothing like the one in the movie.  Which was good.  Although admittedly I wasn't there after it closed so I can't honestly say if everything came to life at night.  And C and I sent a rockin' movie message there to our mothers.  It was basically the best thing ever.

Central Park was gorgeous.  C took 300 pictures of it alone.

Broadway.  We saw both Wicked and Phantom.  Wicked was absolutely spectacular.  I was in love.  Phantom was really good, and I'm glad I went, but the set design just wasn't as visually appealing as it could have been.  We were almost late to Phantom.  We ran through downtown to get Olive Garden, got the check with our meal (which was rushed) and then ran to the theatre.  That waitress got an amazing tip.  She deserved it.

Did you know "the locals" say the number and not the color?  The 6.  Not the one we used the most, but still a good time.  (We used the 1 and the R).

I love the atmosphere.  Just walking around was fantastic, the subway was super fun too--even when we would get delayed for an hour.  I think my favorite part was when people asked us for directions, apparently we look like locals.  Which I loved.  I loved that people thought I was a part of that.  Because it's a little bit magical.  Is it weird that I felt like I belonged there.  And now back in Provo I still feel a bit out of place?

Lets be honest.  My mecca.

Shopping also happened.  I got a Birkin bag from canal street--which I am very happy about, and I went shopping in the J.Crew flagship store.  So basically now my life is complete.  C and I also bought bagels and ate them in front of the shop so we could say we had Breakfast at Tiffany's.  :) We're silly.  I think we also felt clever and incredibly pleased with ourselves.

The all important turkey-pigeon-seagull picture.  They're all in there.  We took a lot of bird pictures, and went to the Birds of NY exhibit.  So we're basically experts.

I think mostly I'm proud of myself for planing and following through 100% on our own with this trip.  We talk about doing things all the time, but this time we made it happy.  And it was worth every penny (and also a round 400 pictures).

I had a job interview too.  Details to follow.  Keep reading, I'll keep you posted!

Tis the season

So good news.  I wrote this sometime before Christmas, and just found it.  So enjoy.

So, I was planning to update my little side-column with a picture of Christmas, it is that time of year after all. But as I scrolled the pictures google gave me, nothing was right. I mean, it had all the right things: trees, presents, snow, candles, even manger scenes, but I realized that nothing spoke to me. Why? What is Christmas to me? (May I include my caveat that when I say Christmas, ironically I'm not talking about the celebration of the birth and life of the Savior. For me it's like there are two holidays that happen to be on the same day. They most definitely effect each other, but I celebrate them in completely different ways. In this case I refer to the family holiday.)

I think for me it has to do with tradition. I guess that isn't too surprising. For me EVERYTHING is about tradition. It has less to do with getting up Christmas morning, than the debate the night before about what time we're getting up (6:30, in case anyone is wondering). It has less to do with going Christmas caroling, than looking forward to it, but complaining just because thats how you play the game. It has less to do with a Christmas tree, and more to do with who gets to put which ornaments on it. Like rocking horses, and "stained-glass" windows, and geese. Like not even worrying about Christmas lights--because Dad puts them up. Always. And they go back in their original container. Every year. After all--where do you think I got it from? I came by it honestly. It has to do with a felt advent calendar, and rearranging things so you get to put the star up. It has to do with blasting Mannheim Steamroller and Michael W Smith and putting your favorites on repeat so you can lead the orchestra. Its re-reading the Forgotten Carols. Its still having that feeling of anticipation as you lay awake the night before, even as fully grown adult. Its looking out the window that night, crossing your fingers that it will snow--even though it never snows, and using the street light out the window to see if flakes are falling.  Did you know that even though its cheesy, and C claims that the song is a liar, "Christmas in the Northwest" makes me all teary.  So do made for TV Christmas movies.  They're part of the magic of the season.  And it just doesn't quite feel like the holiday until I've seen White Christmas and Charlie Brown.  Its having cinnamon roll wreath and little smokies, even when Jello stopped making americana custard because "people don't like to stir". Its going to the movies, and out to Changs. Its having Dad at home. Its being together.

None of those pictures expressed that for me. Maybe they were the wrong colors, or had the wrong decorations. Or maybe my holiday doesn't feel stereotypical, but tailored. But they didn't speak to me. How does Christmas speak to you?

Change we can believe in

I have officially lost all faith in the government.  And also its subsidiaries.

I used to trust that little label--y'know, that one with a date?  I would dive through the shelves, only to emerge triumphantly with my precious cargo, accurately stamped with that little number of far-away goodness.  I would wander around the store, secure in my naivety that the number would keep me safe, comfortable with the familiar digits and patterns.

Even with the number, I was fastidious.  I would take it out, pour, put it back in.  The goal is freshness.  One of the unbreakable rules of my fridge is that the milk never touches the counter.  So you may imagine my surprise to open a brand new bottle, take a drink--only to be more disgusted than basically ever.  As if all of my worst milk fears had been realized.  The sharp smell was overpowered only by the sour taste that hung around in my mouth for hours, not to be tempered despite the quarts of water and numerous yummies consumed.  Not even shortbread could cut through.  According to the sanctioned date, the bad bottle still had another week, so you can see now the source of my disillusionment.  It's all lies!

And perhaps now we know why I don't want the government to take over the health care industry.  I mean, look what they're doing to the food!  Is nothing sacred?  I mean, if you can't trust your doctor, who else is there?  (especially with the power to provide prescription drugs with reckless abandon)

So now, the new platform: safety in dairy dates, and security for drugs.  Like, the legal kind.

Problem solved.